As everyone knows by now, everyday since I was re-admitted to the hospital, I was looking forward to the day I could go home.
When I was able to start walking or wheeling out of my room, the first thing I would do is look toward the exit doors and head in that direction. Some of the nurses would joke that they have to keep an eye on me or else I might just disappear. It was a good thing that my room was at the other end of the exit or I just might have.
The night before my discharge, a friend of mine text me saying “I bet you’re already packed up”. To which I responded back “already started sending stuff home yesterday”
So needless to say, when discharge day came on Friday, I was up early & with the help of super nurse Erin, showered before breakfast & raring to go. I just had to wait for my ride who was delayed due to a snow storm??? What was with the weird weather of Friday?
I truly was saddened to say good bye to my roomie who, by the way, never changed so the roomie pool final number was 5. I wish her & her a quick recovery so she too can move onto real food instead of the hospital muck they serve. I was also sad to say bye to my surgical team and all of the wonderful staff on C5, especially Hasumie, Jay, Erin & Kelly, but nevertheless, elated to be leaving. Last year, round about the same time in fact, I left C5, but this time was a totally different feeling. You see, when I went home last year, I was incredibly happy, especially after such a traumatic absence but I always knew I’d have to return to retry the surgery. The knowledge that I’d have to rehabilitate only to come back lingered like heavy clouds that prevent you from summiting after finally climbing to the top camp on Mt Everest. This time, with the success of these surgeries behind me, the clouds are gone. I left through those doors at Sunnybrook on Friday morning & went into a whole new world. A world with less burden & far more peace & tranquility. On this, exceptionally beautiful and springlike day, I wish you all a peaceful and happy day.

I did it!!!
Today I was able to walk with my crutch…twice. It hurt like heck but I loved it. It’s so nice to get off my bottom for the first time in 16 days. I haven’t seen myself in the mirror yet but I’m convinced that my hips must be bigger due to my butt being flattened & squished out to the sides

So…it’s official. I’m going home tomorrow.
Yay!!!!!
I can’t wait to tell the kids.

My leg is still immobilized & I’ll still be on bedrest for the next 2 weeks but I truly believe that people heal better at home. The care here was once again, over the top, but how can they compete with my 2 little nurses I have awaiting at home?

Wish me luck & I’ll keep you posted.

Wow!! Were we ever blessed with a beautiful day. Days like today are capable of renewing our spirits, making it possible to endure what little bit of winter that we may have left.

I was able to get up to a wheelchair today, wheel outside and spend some quality time with my father. What a nice day.

I have been standing (although not completely upright yet) and pivoting into my chair. The arterial grafts they made for my flaps have been tested over the past two days & so far, so good. Everything else also seems to be healing well. As a result, I have been given the go ahead to try walking tomorrow. Now don’t go getting too excited as I’m not walking any marathons. Just a couple of steps with a crutch, but it’s worth a lot to me. It means I’m one step closer to the door. One step closer to home and my kids but shhh. We haven’t told them yet

I hope everyone got to enjoy something about today.

For those of you in the roomie pool, I said good bye to another roommate yesterday & hello to a new one. As expected, the turnover here is incredible. That makes 4 roommates for my current room plus 1 roommate from my other room for a total of 5. I’m guessing that this roomie will be around for a bit. We’ll see who gets out first .

Are you a half glass empty or a half glass full type of person?
I like to think that I’m an optimistic person. I love optimism and positive thinking. I often say that I’m a lucky person. Yes I was attacked by a shark, which is incredibly rare, but so is surviving a shark attack. To me…I’m pretty lucky.

When things are difficult, as they’ve been at the best of times, I can often make it through by doing two things. Firstly, by believing that I can get through it. If you don’t believe in yourself, the fight is half lost already. Secondly, to accept the things I cannot control & choose how I’ll face it. The latter is definitely more difficult for me, especially over the past few days.
The fantastic new flap on my leg started to show some worrisome signs and a dark spot also showed up on my stump end. I wasn’t really concerned about my arm but thoughts of the leg flap rejecting once again terrified me. “What if…” lingered like a grey cloud in the my head. I was helpless, as was my family, because there was nothing we could do but wait and see what happened & hope for the best. It was out of our control. But, even though the cloud remained in my head (I can’t make the sun shine despite what some people think), I chose not to dwell on that cloud. I chose to surround myself with loving friends & family and to smile as much as I could smile & laugh as much as I could laugh.

I can’t say my flap is looking better yet, but it’s not any worse. More importantly, my doctor gave me the thumbs up today saying it appears to be A-ok. Whew.

Another lucky break? Well that’s part of my outlook…but that’s only a matter of perspective, right?
How do you look at life? Are you feeling lucky?

I’m sending out apologies to those who tried to post a response to my blog but then never saw it posted. I have been experiencing some issues with my blog. Most of it due to my lack of technical know-how but some are due to problems which occurred when I switched host companies.

When I looked for comments, my site kept saying there were none. I finally figured out there was an issue & hope I can fix it. Awesome Dan, who set the site up for me initially, is helping so it should be ok now.

I have approved the comments that showed up but am afraid that a few may have been missed. If this is the case, I’m sorry to have missed them & please repost.

I admire all you techies out there who understand all this stuff.
Here’s hoping I’ve got it under control now.

I’m up…I’m up!!!
As I’m writing, I am sitting up in a wheelchair, completely ecstatic. I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to get up because after my dressing change yesterday, we were missing a few items to stablize my new leg. The incredible staff here on C5, despite being super busy as always, pursued on my behalf night & day, to quickly attain the special brace I needed to secure my leg.
No sooner was my leg braced that my awesome nurse Erin & Cliff, her sidekick, had me up to a wheelchair. I am so thankful and happy. As if my day couldn’t get any better, it’s a snow day for my kids so my kids & family are here visiting. Life is great!
Ready…set…go

All the bandages and tubes are officially out….yay!!!!
My new leg looks fantastic and I am very excited. There is one tiny spot that is necrotic but it appears to be superficial & the team is not too concerned. My wonderful surgeon, however, wants to be extra careful and is being uber conservative with my recovery. Rightfully so, I know, but as most of you know, I like to keep moving forward, not stay stagnant. I want to be home with my family as soon as I can. That said, I’m taking no chances. Sometimes our wants have to take a backseat to our needs. Don’t worry…this time I won’t push it too hard. I’ll be a good girl
So…it looks like I am going to be extending my stay at Sunnybrook for another two weeks. Let’s make a game of it: Let’s see how many roommates I can go through. So far I have been here 8 days and I’m on my 3rd roommate. She goes home tomorrow. Any bets on how many roomies I’ll have before I go home?

Sorry but I have no new news to report.
The docs removed 2 out of 3 of my tubes yesterday, (JP tubes for the nurses following this) but weren’t able to take down my dressing siting no time. They said they’d remove the dressing & the last tube today but we are still waiting. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. Today is not my best day. I feel crappy and my pain worse than usual so I’d like to have the dressing done to brighten my day. I’d really like to sneak a peak at my new leg & see if all is going well.
I’ll keep you posted.

Yay, surgery is over and once again I am on the road to recovery.
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I had my operation last Tuesday…Almost a week post op!!! This is so important and a huge hurdle overcome. Some of you may remember that last February I had this same surgery to rebuild my leg but the donor site was from my right leg. All was well (“was loving my new skinny legs”) but for unknown reasons, the flap rejected 6 days later on Feb 14th. It was a bad day. For the past year, we have been prepping & nurturing the site for this repeat operation using a different donor site. Today was day 6 post op & the flap looks great. Tomorrow, the docs will remove my cast & dressings to take a better look but we are expecting great outcomes. Please pray &/or keep fingers & toes crossed that all is well. 

So what exactly did they do? Â
My plastics team reconstructed my left leg using parts from my abdomen. They removed abdominal muscle and placed it over the femur. They then removed a flap from my tummy to cover the bite area as best as they could. Despite fattening up for this surgery with an all-you-can-eat diet, I apparently still didn’t have enough to cover the whole wound. My surgeon cut the largest flap she could then went to close my tummy but realized it is too tight. It is so tight that I am unable to lie flat at this time and must remain in a seated position. I also have to keep my leg elevated so I’m stuck in this poorly executed jackknife position. It’s quite funny but hey, I’m not complaining. I have a flat tummy again!!
I have to send out thanks for the millions of offers I received for donor fat. No really…millions offered selflessly give up their personal cushion for me. Sorry that I couldn’t take up the offers.Â
It is truly amazing what medicine can do and I am so thankful for my plastic surgeons, especially Dr. Snell, who have invested, even sacrificed, so much of their time to strive for a successful outcome for me.     Â
I was also to have a stump revision and nerve exploration to my left arm. When the orthopedic surgeon opened my stump however, he decided he only needed to make one revision which did not involve cutting more bone-which was expected. Whew!! He also decided not do a part of the surgery which I felt was important (a nerve repair) therefore I’m not convinced that my arm pain will be entirely resolved, but at this point, I must give the benefit of doubt to the professionals & will hope that this too will be the end of operations to my arm so that I can move forward with my prosthetic pain free.

I am on total bed rest and expect to be this way for a while. “Joy oh bliss” she said with sarcasm but willing to do whatever it takes to make the surgeries a success. The original hospital stay was quoted about 6 weeks. I quickly begged for leniency and negotiated 3 weeks in hospital (if all went well) followed by 2-3 weeks bed rest at home.Â
Since being admitted to my favorite unit at Sunnybrook, things are progressing well. I, of course, hope to accelerate this estimate & my surgeon may agree to 2 weeks hospital stay if everything looks well tomorrow (now today):).

How am I feeling? Everything aches this time (like I’ve been hit by a truck) but far less intense compared to what I had to endure last year so I won’t complain. Each day, is better than the last. I feel sad to leave my beautiful girls at home while mommy goes away again, sorry for having to put my wonderful husband through this again, guilty to burden my father further even though I know he loves being needed, and frustrated at times that I have to do this again.
BUT…I am alive. I am healthy enough to endure these operations. I am strong enough to recover quickly. I am wise enough to know that even though I feel sad, guilty, sorry & frustrated, that it’s ok. I am loved enough to know that nothing else matters.Â
I am elated that it’s over and once again I am on the road to recovery.